Friday, April 6, 2012

The "Perfect" Side Chick


So once again, I'm sure I'll get bashed for "condoning" "encouraging" and "birthing" Side Chicks. Because Cutty gets blamed for all the evils of the world. But I mean, it's what's going on already... I'm just trying to organize the chaos... But anywho.... If you are a side chick, have a side chick, or intend to be a side chick...Or think you'll NEVER be a side chick,  then you need to hear this...

#1 Know WHAT you're in it for!  Always remind yourself of your position, and play it. I have a huge problem with females who don't know what or why they have "settled" for this position. Never be the side chick for the MAN... Because EVENTUALLY you are going to want him to yourself. If you "love" him "that" much, then why wouldn't you want him to yourself eventually? The problem with you wanting the man is that if you finally get to a point where you know you can't have him then you're going to make sure everyone else is unhappy too. Don't debate! Don't degrade yourself for no benefit. What are you getting out of this? What does he do for you? Are the lonely nights, holidays, being called a hoe by everyone else and having to STFU worth what you get out of the situation? Is he supportive? Does he respect you? Does he "love" you? Is your rent paid? Do yall go on trips and dates? Does he pay your tuition or helping with your loans? Is he funding your new business endeavor? Or is that all for an orgasm? Or no orgasm at all, just a dick?

#2 Shut him down if he ever brings her up. If he brings up her up in conversation, tell him the FIRST time "I don't want to hear anything about her, because #1, all that's going to do is make you think its ok to always do it. #2 Its annoying. And #3 I'm a girl, I'm jealous by nature. Don't give me rules, I know the rules. I follow Passport Cutty”

#3 Don't Care about "HER"... Don't ask about "her." Don't stalk "her." Don't spy on "her." Don't BOTHER "her." Don't talk shit about "her." If you're "so happy" then why are you worried about the next bitch? Apparently you're not really "happy"... And if you aren't, then why the hell have you "settled" to be in this position? Curiosity KILLED the cat. Once you open that door to be inquisitive concerning "her" you've started an internal silent competition between you two. She may not even know she has anyone she is competing with but now you're so bent on trying to be "better" or more "desirable" than her that now you've started going the extra mile for the same "position"...   

#4 NO DRAMA. Don't call her. Don't call their house. Don't post pics of you two. Don't tweet him. Don't hack his pages. Don't pop up where they're going to be. Don't call him if you know he's going home unless its an emergency. If he knows you never call while he's home and he sees you call, he'll be more inclined to answer it or return you're call fast because its out of the ordinary. Don't be the boy who cried wolf. You'll only be fucking your own self over in the end. If you create drama you'll wind up being more hurt and embarrassed when he kicks your ass to the curb. The silent side chicks get more and gets treated better. Well, if you demand it or else you'll just be the “convenient” side chick that just gets fucked.

#5 Don't get pregnant. If you're the side chick and you get pregnant its your fault. You look like you're trying to trap him. Yea yea yea, he knew what he was doing but protect yourself because as the girl, you're always going to get the shorter end of the stick. And even for all the money in the world, its not going to make you feel better if he still doesn't be with you. And now you have to explain to your child why daddy doesn't live with yall. Just don't do it.

#6 Don't tell your friends. I rather you talk to me than tell your friends. Unless you have GREAT friends like I do but most people hate their friends, they just can't get rid of them. Lol. But usually friends are going to make you feel stupid about what you're doing. They're going to tell other people what you're doing. They're going use it against you later. They're going to compare your relationship to theirs and then you're going to resent them. Not saying all friends do this but this is what "People" do and friends are "people" lol

#7 Don't Promote yourself. Don't think you're anything more just because you've met his friends and family. They all smile in your face just like they do his girl. So fuck his family and his friends. And remember that you're STILL, the side chick.

#8 Don't be the pot who called the kettle black. Don't tell people "she" is stupid because she knows about you... Because you're stupid too for knowing about "her"...

#9 NEVER be a side chick to a bum or a broke dude. Bums and broke men shouldn't even have the time to be fucking more than one bitch. They need to spend that extra time on getting their damn life together. If you're the side chick to a bum or a broke man, then YOU'RE a BUM too.


#10 Don't believe Shit he says. Chances are, if he's a cheater then he's a liar. Don't believe his side of the story because there's two more but you shouldn't CARE because that's not your business! RIGHT? You're in this for how he treats YOU and what he does with YOU and FOR YOU. So do not worry about the other things that does not concern you because he is going to LIE about it 7 times out of 10. 


#11 Protect your health. Do not assume that he is being monogamous to the two of you. You want him to be a "faithful cheater?" Oh. If you feel like his girlfriend and he is cheating on his REAL girlfriend, please assume that you are not the exception.  

#12 NO BLACKMAIL Do not save receipts, texts, videos, pics, clothes, screen shots etc for blackmailing purposes. This is a NO NO! Don't be the scorned side chick... If you would have followed the first 11 rules then you wouldn't be so devastated when its all over. You shouldn't have settled for this position if you couldn't handle it. Blackmailing won't erase your pain, won't change things and most likely won't make her leave him. But now you've burned your bridge with him fully and forfeited the chance of you ever being able to contact him in the future for a favor or help.

#13 Don't forget rule NUMBER ONE!!!

Follow these rules and you won't have to cry yourself asleep to Adele. When it's all said and done, you can walk away and say “that was great while it lasted”.... Now on the the next... 


*PS* "Faithful Side Chicks" usually get more hurt in the end.  

65 comments:

  1. What if I tire of having fun and like him for real? Is there any way to go from side to main dish or is a guy who always has a side always going to be a cheater? Sorry for all the ? but I'm kinda in this situation and I don't want to be perfect at being #2 I want to work my way to being the only girl. help!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First thing is u played yourself by allowing yourself to get caught up emotionally; See Rule#1

      In this game, from the other parties perpective if his/her game is tight; U never make #2 #1! If they applied for and played #2 never promote them to a position they didn't want in the first place

      Delete
    2. That's definitely not going to happen, I have a side nigga, he has a main & I have a main, I wouldn't fuck my situation to be with him and he wouldn't do the same either. iknow why I'm fucking with him, for the satisfaction of myself. if your his side chick then you gunna be just that Bc if he wanted you as main that's what you'd be. and even if you do move up a level, you'll never be his 1 & only.

      Delete
  2. That's why you gotta know what you're in it for. If you catch feelings... That's on you. Don't EVER think he's gonna leave her for you! EVER. IDGAF what he say... Rule #10! He ain't shit to her... Why would you want him. What, your pussy better? You give better head? Chill. I've been on both sides of the fence... Cheated on, cheated with. Shit, cheated on while being cheated with. Bottom line is... Niggas gone be a nigga. Fuck being faithful. Make sure that nigga know there's Competition. He'll dish out more money & better sex. I was faithful. That's just me. I messed up letting him know it. Cutty shoulda told yall; RULE #14: if he catch feelings... Put on ya AirMax & RUN. You might think its cute that another bitch nigga done fell for you but its dangerous. Especially if you love him.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I loved it everything you said was dead on point I just hope they take ur advice to heart

    ReplyDelete
  4. If you would have replied to my damn email in DECEMBER I wouldn't be over here sick as fuck now Cutty!!!! Thanks for this blog too damn late smh

    ReplyDelete
  5. That was the realest shit I read in a long time. Non biased, non apologetic and straight facts. I will be forwarding this to a couple of friends who think they are "winning"! Hahaha, poor "dumb broke in love w another bitch's no good ass dick" bitches!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The dick is usually good tho...

      Delete
  6. You're right about that..the dick is usually good and good dick...excuse me Great sex is hard to come across now adays that's why I stick with it cause clearly I wouldn't want him if he left his main girl for me....same way you get him Is the same way you'll loose him...I don't want anybody else's boyfriend, husband or baby daddy to be my main man but I'll take thr cash & sex,..leave the feelings somewhere else....I can say this now cause I was just the scorned sidechick a few months ago..We both fell in love...big mistake

    ReplyDelete
  7. OMG!!!!! This is some of the realest shit I have read in a long minute and I just was tryna get some clarity for my own situation. I even broke a few of these rules...dumb on my part is being a faithful side chick to a nigga and catching feelings now im tryna figure out how to take myself out of the situation but he takes good care of me and we have great sex and a good time when we hanging but in the end it so not gone b worth it cause i will end up just like the ione he cheating on

    ReplyDelete
  8. Cutty....u may not like the comments about bitches being side chicks for dick but the truth of the matter is majority of the women are doing that cause I know for a fact these bitches be lying about niggas giving them money and taking them on trips ...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Funny cause I was approached with a proposition to be a "side chick" just a few hours ago. I like him and as much as I would like to be in his world in any aspect I declined. Im just not built to be a willing participant. I cant do that to myself.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months and I started off as the sidechick. Not many bitches are able to make the transition from sideline hoe to wifey but i know if he'll cheat with me he'll cheat on me...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How did you make the transition since most side chicks never do?

      Delete
  11. wow i really fuckin up b/c i've broken quite a bit of these rules. well i havent popped up at his house and i dont call crazy hours of the night. but i think its just best i leave him alone altogether. i knew this was a bad idea from start

    ReplyDelete
  12. well dam, is it to late to start over following these rules with my dude?
    bc I've broken alot of these rules....... and what if he's married and not a bf?

    ReplyDelete
  13. The people that are willingly fucking another woman's man, I hope you're prepared for what you're in for. I learned the hard way thinking that shit was cool & to this day would never have the dignity to do it again. God will NOT let you have another woman's man... especially husband! Just believe me when I say, sooner or later someone's gonna get hurt. There's no way you can continuously fuck a man and never have any feelings for him. Smh, goodluck & be prepared when karma hit's you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thats right! I have never been a side chick but my husband cheated on me. He changed with me completely, to be with the side chick. When I caught him in the action I kicked him out n gave him the freedom to be with her. I even spoke to her. You know what she told me " I chose this, and I would stick by" I said " the same way u got it u will loose it! Any relationship that begins with betrayal NeVET works out!"
      In the end, I left him and guess where he is? Home with his family and repentful.
      PS : he knows I have nothing to loose.

      Delete
  14. Love this.. I add to this things i have seen side chicks that i know choose to do some ignant stuff. 1. Never give this dude a key to your spot, if your faithful that's a problem to begin with but if you decide to have a lil fun on the side this can be dangerous, (really dangerous). 2. if at all costs don't let him meet yo kids, another situation that could cause an issue if you live in a big (small) city. Kid's say the darnedest things!! 3. Treat him like the hoe he is in a respectful manner (pun intended). You get mo loot if he is a man's man cuz he knows (or think he knows) that you are a ride or die chick.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Do you think a man would want to restart a fling with his side chick after she spazzed on him by text and ended it? The man lied about being married and so many other things. He had a separate identity going. As I got more into him he began less contact and encounters. A friend told me the truth about him, but I de decided to stay in, waiting for the tIme that I would tell him that I know the truth. Since he kept ignoring me I spazzed and ended it. I told him everything I know, degraded his character a bit, and he never responded to any of it. Now I'm thinking, it might be still going on if he just told me he was married from jump....he's everything I want in a lover....the best. But, I exposed the truth...I wonder if he will ever try to get at me again, I sent him a msg that was neutral about everything, but since then I havent contacted him.

    ReplyDelete
  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  17. #5, #9, #10 I agree with but #2,#3,&#6 I am guilty of....lol. & #12 I'll do if he start acting like a jerk or asshole.

    ReplyDelete
  18. when i met my now husband, he had a girlfriend. I told him I dont mess with taken men - and so he dumped her. why do you all setttle for being second best????? u deserve more than to know he is just using you for sex. Either you are number one or nothing at all - do you all not love urselves enough to know that u deserve MORE?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. did he really dump her or did she become the side chick haha!

      Delete
  19. women know they deserve more. But because of the poor choices they've made in their lives when it comes to men, leaves most women to grab and hold on to whatever piece of happiness they can. Yes, it's very wrong to mess with another womans man. But if your in this situation, all u can do is pray and ask god to forgive you and help u to be strong enough to get out of it. I never judge other people for the choices they make. Because u never know if it could be u that people are turning their nose up to because of some poor choice u made..

    ReplyDelete
  20. This shit right here! damn Cutty! I know this bitch that broke all the rules. now she got ANOTHER baby by a nigga that don't wont her ass. damn. shit crazy

    ReplyDelete
  21. I got a Cutty Challenge........ TWITPIC YOUR STD RESULTS!!!!! RECENT! and the FULL REPORT!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Cutty Aint TRU!! She cant handle REAL!! Walk the Talk!! You will chump otha muthafuckas bout posting they results...... Well post yo shit! Show a Nigga how Real you are!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shut yo dumb ass up haten...... Cutty, ain't got shit to prove to the world, we not fuckn her...... How about ya dumb ass be sure to stay up on ya own results, you bitter BITCH, go drown in some cum... Assassinating this woman's character kuzz she grindn for hers.... Hoe up bitch, kuzz being envious of cutty/others is some punk shit.... FOH bruhhhh!!!

      Delete
  23. He cries and says he's confused but still with her after she saw a text and dumped him but while he was with me he looked like a puppy dog so I coached him on how to get her back...now he's back focused on her and I'm alone sad and crying he text me a I will always love u text and I broke down Wut do I do? Not answer his calls? Answer them? Dodge him in school? HELP!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. why in the hell did u coach him to get her back?? leave his ass alon he doesnt want you... ignore his ass!!

      Delete
  24. OMG!!! After reading this I feel like it was written about me. I have been involved with this guy for over a year. In the beginning he lied about having a girlfriend and by the time he told me the truth I was in too deep. So I somehow ended up the sidechick. We live in different states so I don't see him much but I go to visit him and he comes to visit me. His girlfriend found out about us and actually called me I told her everything and 6 months later she is still with him and he is still with me.

    I must admit I have broken almost all of these rules. We have had huge blow outs and it has gotten really ugly. Any woman who thinks she can be a sidechick and be happy is lying to herself!! I know I did. We both caught feelings and I know from experience this makes things dangerous. I also made the mistake of being the faithful sidechick and he thinks he owns me
    I have tried to break it off and he refuses. I want out but its hard to walk away when your heart is involved. NOTHING GOOD WILL COME FROM BEING SOMEONES SIDECHICK!!! You will be hurt, you will want all those special moments with him that you can't have like birthdays and holidays and you will no longer be content with what you had before. RUN!!! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN BEFORE YOU GET IN TOO DEEP!! GETTING OUT WILL BE HARDER THAN YOU THINK!!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I once dated a dude a dude and was the side chick...he would always say he live both of us, my reply was you can't love 2 people.....eventually I became number 1 the first year was good but the second year he started acting up so he he became#2 I had sex with him when I wanted through his ass towel and put him out EVERYTIME... He decided to try and run me over with his car he missed and no he misses me BULLSHIT!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I was in this situation and it turned out ugly... I was with this man for 5yrs and I knew he didn't mean me any good.. I don't kno y I settle but I really did love him.. He didn't give a damn about me but I jus couldn't accept... Well he took sick and I was there for him and he was telling me all kinds of bullshit that we was gone be together and I took him serious,, he always played games wit me but I kno I couldn't blame nobody but myself.. We started looking at houses and the next thang I kno he moved the woman in the house.. I was fucking heated and hurt, so I told the woman everything, and he got mad like I give a shit, but I've been there for this man and look how he does me.. Ill never put myself in a situation like that again.... Them men really don't give a damn about u and have no respect for you!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ok so I been messing with my friend's boyfriend for about 7 months now. I have tried to break away from him a couple times but I just cant. Its hard cause my friend be complaining to me about him all tha time. She know he a cheater and she still stay with him. He tell me he love me and all kinds of bullshit. But to be honest the sex is so good I cant give him up. We only really text or talk when it time to get to tha business and im starting to get annoyed with that. I have myself in a hell of a mess. What do I do?

    ReplyDelete
  28. Okay so recently I have been seeing my bestfriends boyfriend. I feel kinda bad when I see them together ,but when its me & him all the guilt goes away. I feel as her friend I should tell her what we've been doing but i dont want to hurt her. The truth is i dont really wanna stop seeing him . What should i do ?

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hi! I have noticed that your Rss of this blog is working without any mistakes, did you somehow complete all the settings all by yourself or you turned to the original settings of this widget?

    ReplyDelete
  30. I too have fallen victim to the same trap. I have known this man for about for about 6 years. We have been through a lot..When I was with someone he was single and now that he is with someone I am single. He also lives in another state..I do go out to see him, and to be honest I am going out there in two weeks to see him. The sex is bomb, he is gorgeous and has a wonderful personality and DIMPLES! He is dating this woman now for a year and Im tired of the BS and the side chick shenanigans..I do believe he cares about me, but im about to pull his card..If he doesn't want to be with me that's cool..But after this next visit..Im done with his ass..lol..No matter how much he begs me to stay! Good luck to all of my sidechick sistas in the struggle..We gotta stop being 2nd best and we will find a good man in our future!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn he sound like the dude I've been a side chick with ahahahaha! Dimples, begging and all!

      Delete
  31. Wow I have broken damn near every sidechick rule. I'm pregnant and alone. Alone by choice ofcourse bc as soon as I found out abt his bitch I left his ass alone months ago but then i found out i was preggo. Yeah I know I fucked up and that shit is depressing as hell. I'm not stupid enough to keep it but I am definitely scorned for life.

    ReplyDelete
  32. He pays all my bills, supports me and loves me.. He's a powerful man so I would NEVER utter his name.. The dick is Very good too.. But he's breaking the rules by giving me rules.. He pops up at my house unexpected.. But that's the price you pay when ur pussy tight I guess.. I never ask about the wife (I don't care).. So what do I do because he's not being fair?

    ReplyDelete
  33. We bitches be in it for the dick bottom line and for that excitment that comes with the whole package its a diffrent kinda sex it feels good to know you can have another bitches man whenever you want

    ReplyDelete
  34. I accidentally became the side chick BC he never told me about a gf, he said he was single. We been seeing each other a year now and all the sudden he is jealous and possessive and wants me to himself. Mother fucker you have a girl already, do not expect me to commit to me when you can't even commit to yourself. I care about him but I sure the fuck do not want to be with him. He is a cheating, lying, jealous dog. I do not need to deal w that shit on a daily basis. If I didn't love the sex I would have been gone loooong ago!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I have been a side chick for 2 years. We made each other at a club
    It started out as a sexual relationship and then I caught deep feelings and he started getting some feelings. Basically some drama went down I called his house and told his woman about me and him. oh and no they're not married is just his girlfriend of seven years. They broke up about 30 days and got back together and he started calling me and came back to me sexy me twice again. But now she's decided to be on his phone bill she's clingy as hell and goes everywhere with him so now he and I can never see each other. In the end I realize no matter how much I love him if he wanted me he would have left her when they broke up. Yes the sex was always great he said her sex life horrible. But in the end he always said she had money indeed him right so that's the main reason I feel he stayed in there with her. So my advice to all of you beautiful women please don't settle for side chick is not worth it hurts and you will always be lonely and want to be number 1

    ReplyDelete
  36. I personally will never resort to being a side chick again. Its hurtful and hunts you every moment you have to think. I always said that I would never date a guy who was taken. About two years ago, I met this guy who insisted that he was single and kept trying to be a part of my life. Two months later, I finally gave in and welcome him into my life although a part of me felt something wasn't right. Like most guys, he was so sweet and into me (calling me all day every day and just engaging in that boyfriend make-me-fall-in-love conversations). We accepted each other on Facebook as friends and I use to frequent my Facebook page when I got off work from working a night shift. That's when I caught it!!! This guy had the audacity to post a pic entitled "Chilling with the boo" and there she was. I was so hurt after seeing that my soul bled, my heart was on fire, and my head hurt like hell. I texted him about it because I had devoted seven months of my time to him by now. Why??? is all I wanted to know. I consider myself a keeper, someone a man should love to have as his girl. I was in deep though head straight over the heels for him. That's when the side chick position started July 2011 and lasted until March 2013.It was ups and downs for me at that moment. The best part is being with him and the worst part is knowing he has to go home to her. It gets to you the constant I wish you were my girl but still being with her. The day after holiday celebrations are just way too much. Finally, I realized that I deserved better and he wasn't worth my time. Although I still think about him, I know that being in that position is something I wouldn't do again. In the end, it hurts way too much. Ladies we deserve so much better.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Wow, this blog and the responses are so real... it's hard to ignore what I have been saying to myself for the last 5 months. I met this guy when I was really vulunable after a broken engagement. So, when he told me he was in a relationship (red flag), I ignored it because I lied to myself saying "We can just be friends". It didn't take long before those long intimate phone conversations became the VERY BEST SEX I have ever had. Yes, I have broken some of these rules because the truth be told sex with no strings attached is nearly impossible (for me at least). I have tried to end it so many times but he always knows how to talk me down, make me weak, and sometimes he down right REFUSES. I am faithful to him, he has the keys to my house and my car. He claims he loves me and that he is leaving her (of course).... but, I am not really sure if I could ever trust him. I don't think he will leave his girlfriend because he it all right now. He is enjoying the full commitment of us both. I must admit we have great chemistry and he is so good at making me feel as if he really cares, but the reality is that I am the side chick (second). Wow, Miss "I'm Bad" have settled for the side chick status. I even went as far, as to convince myself, that it was a sure preventative measure to protect me from getting hurt again. Lead myself to belief that the inability of a true commitment between us would in turn protection me from the consequences of drama, pain, disappointment, etc, etc, and etc. However, ladies let's be real and that includes me being second is nothing to be proud of... willingly sleeping with a man we know is in a relationship... does nothing to improve the foundation for what we know and believe is the right thing to do. I stand judgement of no one, other than myself. But, I just don't want to feel that hurt that come with ending "it".... but I know it's right around the corner. I have not been it this place before so any sincere advise would help. I love this man but how do I let him go?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have to decide who do you love and value the most: yourself or him? I can't tell you how to get over this guy but I can tell you how I was able to move on. One day I wrote a letter address to him and I held nothing back in it. I wrote all of my emotions, what we were doing and how I wholeheartedly felt each moment. When I finished, I didn't give it to him I kept it for myself. I made sure I had access to it when I wanted no matter the time of day. How? I emailed it to myself so that not only could I read it on paper but also on the go. Whenever I felt my heart falling back I read about the hurt he had put me through. That may seem silly but by reading that letter, I eventually realize I was experiencing more hurt than sunny days and I love myself more. Again, I can't tell you that this will work for you. As my mother always said, "A person won't truly let go/walk away until THEY GET TIRED." My question to you is: Are you tired yet?

      Delete
  38. OMG! Y im i thinking my situation is diff?. Im married he is married..

    ReplyDelete
  39. I have been in a relationship over a year now my friend use to warn me dat he had a girl friend and some other stuff but i still stayed der cause he told me dat it was just us now i found out its true and he still wants to be wid me... im confused cuz we do almost everything together as a couple he spends night with me and we talk alot dont have sex so often our relationship is basically private those who know are my friends and a few of his... alot of ppl see us together even his girl friend friends know wats going on ... when i confronted him about it he asked me not to live n told me we had a few things to work out. what should i do

    ReplyDelete
  40. Im writting this post to because i have fallen victim. When i take time to rationalize the situation it hurts like hell.I at all points had been wifey. I wonder was i desparate i feel in love with the sex game, trips attention that was given the cash i feel in love with the of us. But when presented the oppurtuinty to be the main chick that shit is scary. Nigga you can not do me the same way you do her. How in the hell can i trust you. Double hell no negative. Listening to these Hallmark card ass lies. Man i know i deserve better.my emotions are not a yo yo save that shit for your main chick. She has to deal with your problems. My nerves bad but two years in and still talking shit. Stupid me

    ReplyDelete
  41. The dick is always good because it's forbidden when it's all said and done bitches can't fuck for long periods of time without catching feeling. All u doing as a side chic IS filling whatever void the main bitch caused. By letting him have the both of you makes him VICTORIOUS!!! So spare yourself the jealousy and heart break SHAWTYS.... SHARED DICK AIN'T NOTHING BUT TROUBLE. sincerely ~ side chic in recovery~

    ReplyDelete
  42. Y'all keep thinking you can roll like a nigga do out here. Women ain't built like that, PERIOD and you may be able to handle it for awhile but you're only damaging yourself in the process and hurting yourself in the end. But go 'head and keep getting ya bills paid, new shoes, cars, etc.... I'll work for mine and maintain my dignity and sanity. As nice as the "kept woman" idea may seem and as tempting as it may be sometimes, I'll pass......

    ReplyDelete
  43. I met him when I was 17years I didn't start messing with him till I turned 18. I knew he had a girlfriend that they had kids I knew her. Since the first day I met him we had a connection. One night we just ended up having sex (I lost my virginity to him) after the first time of us having sex I went home thinking it's a one time thing it'll never happen again I felt bad. Well he kept calling wanting to hang out etc. I ended up falling in love as did he (so he says) we spent every day together time goes by the girlfriend finds out about us she asks me I tell her the truth we keep seeing each other she catches us together it doesn't stop us from seeing each other. I tried to leave but he kept begin me to stay saying he's only there for his kids. I endup pregnant had a miscarriage. Few months later got pregnant again. We now have a child together. He's still w her but still tries to be with me. After I had my child I relised that this is not the life I want for our child. So we now have a co parenting relationship. Yes he says he still loves me and wants to be with me but it took me to get pregnant ha've our baby to realise that it'll never change and what he does to her he will do to me and that's not what I want for our child. Be smart love yourself and know you should never be 2nd. And a baby will not make things better. I broke all the rules. I slip up and saybi love him etc bc in deep down I do. But there comes a point and tIme when you gotta do what's best for u and yours. Best of luck ladies

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hi, my "friend" is always tell me about their sex life and how he's imagining it me and even sends me videos but idgaf about her and how they fuck I just want my gifts and other benefits.so how should I handle this situation I don't wanna be confrontational but I'm tired of hearing about her.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Wow this is crazy, and here I thought I was one of few women to experience this. First of all, let me say that by having been here before, I pass judgement on no one. I am a Christian woman, a good friend, daughter, employee etc. But Im a humam being first and we all make mistakes at one point or another. My situationship started after my ex-guy came to my birthday party. I was on one. He came from a long distance to spend my birthday with me when the guy I waw seeing didnt wven show up. Make a long story short, we were all over eachother. I assumed he was single. A week later we began to talk over the phone day and night. I fell in love with his personality instantly and our chemisty was out of this world. Sex was NEVER bad. About 2 weeks after the initial bonding, his gf contacted me on fb to tell me that she was done with him and I could have him. He lied at first, but because I gave off the vibe that I would tolerate it, he started being honest about it. By that time I was deeply infatuated, in love in friendship the whole 9 and I was not ready to end the good feelings I were experiencing. So we would hang out, go to parties. I knew his life, he knew mine, he always supported everything I did. Hed take care of me when we were together, he told me ge was in love with me and he loved me frequently enough. Hed ask me if I would marry him one day, or if I was gonna have a baby for him. Etc. I always played his shit to the left because he was cheating on his gf. We even made love from time to time. We did not go on romantic dates or fun outings unless it was a party or family gathering. His fam was cool with me, mines with him. Ppl thought he was mine. I loved him, but I was in excruciating emotional pain and suffering. My self esteem chipped away because I was playing 2nd. Toake matters worst, after 2 years, he started seeing someone else and hooked up with her. I threw that nigga the deuces before his eyes could blink. Oh hell nah. You dont give another bitch that position in your life and think ima still fuck with you. As a side chick, I felt like I had no right to trip because the gf was inn9cent and she was there first, but I be damned if you put another chick before me. He had a hard tome accepting b that I had cut him off. To this day, a year and a half latet he sends me hate messages and threatens me all because I decised that I deserve better, and his ass is psychotic. I actual b feel sorry for his new chick. Good luck everyone. I was addicted. If I can get out, you can too. It was the moat challenging thing I have ever done, but you have to go through pain to get to healing. I do suggest that to eliminate pain, keep your business to urself. Most people are secretly kudhing you and that doesnt help. Deal with it with God's help.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Is they supposed to give u money?? What if they don't do I cut him off or keep fucking I won't the dick n the money

    ReplyDelete
  47. Dang, I'm married and he is too. Almost 4 years; didn't mean to catch feeling but did... In too deep

    ReplyDelete
  48. wow this all just reminds me of what im going through...iv been seeing this guy who i adore..DAMN MUCH IN LOVE..but before we started dating he had gone thorugh a lot before he got me, he used my friend to get to me and my friend believed in him and that he was single..months went buy and there was the first break up, he asked me back and we continued dating..but when we were six months in the relationship he told me he had a girlfriend but he didnt want to lose me and he didnt want me to tell his girlfriend about us..damn that was fucked up.we continued seeing each other but he kept me second and everthing changed and turned to JUST SEX.. and in the end i still fall deep in love with him..they are now brocken up with his girl but he still doesnt give a damn about me..i tell him i love him and he says he loves me back, but his actions dont show that..im in deep shit, i love the guy and its not sex im after..i could text him and he would not reply for days or a week even..yes i know im stupid but i love him and theres a part of me that wants out of this sidechick business...what should i do cutty?...plis reply

    ReplyDelete
  49. well im having fun with my guy & im going to deal with him accordingly until our time clock expires & then life goes on & he'll be happy with her or whomever & i'll do the same but until then YOLO!! lol

    ReplyDelete
  50. i dont get deep in my feelings w/ these nigguhs because honestly its a lot w/ them & who's to say its not a lot w/ me. .(side eye) but it is what it is, DO YOU & HAVE FUN DOING JUST THAT!!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Everything that you said is on point, and I've been doing all of it except... I constantly think about what a nice person "she" could be and how karma is going to bite me in the vagina... My situation is a bit complicated well isn't it for all side chicks, anyway, I dated him before "she" did, back in high school and I never got over him. I still feel a lot for him. In my delusional mind he "belongs" to me because I had him first, but I know he's not mine anymore. Please help

    ReplyDelete
  52. Ok my story is kinda sad and I done violated most of those rules... I am a side chick, but he tells me all the te not to label myself as one... this man I am with is married and she knows all about me he admitted to her that I am his girl and that he is inove with me.. she licked him out several times but he goes back for the sake of the kids hes not leaving her bcuz he doesn't wanna b that guy who left his wife for another woman, hes waiting on her to really just let him gm go but she is just not doing that.. this.has been going on for almost 2yrs and I am now 6 months pregnant, she knows about this and is accepting it, she even gave him rules like if hes gonna stay out just let her know n if I call him take the phone call outside.. I really love this man n I know he.loves me he told her he does n he shows it to me well... the thing is I dont think I.can b in this position gor too much longer and shes not lettin him go for anything o domt want to either but I want him to myself now...... this man has always treated n made me feel as if I.am his only one I would see him 3 to 4 times a week n talk/text all day on the phone he doesn't hide me either thats for sure... he wants her to give up, instead of him being the one who left his wife for some chick... :'( what do I do... just waot?????

    ReplyDelete
  53. Yall stupid as hell. Waiting for a man to leave his woman only so he can find another sideline to cheat on ur ass with. Get ur own man.

    ReplyDelete
  54. I met my son's father when while he was living with his wife. He told me he liked me and I told him I don't date married men. He left and got his own place. We've been together for 4 years and have a 2 year old son. Right after I had my son I found out about the other chick. She knows about me and I don't know if she believes his lies that he's not with me or she just doesn't care. NOW, she's pregnant with twins. I left him. It's hard...I don't know if he ever really loved me or I even knew him at all. Men are assholes. And most men cheat because there are women out there willing to do it with them. Some women only care about money and sex. They don't care about the woman who helped him get the money. It's a messed up situation for all parties involved. Everyone should just be honest. I have no respect for women who know about the wife or girlfriend and doesn't care. KARMA will come back when you want him to yourself or find a man you want to settle down with

    ReplyDelete