Mission Impossible

Giving head, is just not my thing. Nothing about it turns me on... Do I pretend it does to him? Yea *yawns*... But the whole time I'm doing it, I'm just hoping he's done before I'm done. *yawns* Cuz he is going to be mighty mad once my "dick sucking" timer is up.

Til this day, I don't know if I'm good or bad at it... Because I usually get stopped in under 5 minutes which is FINE by me... Either they cum, or they say "I want that pussy now"... Cool... But let's go from start to finish of WHY this is just not for me.

First of all, these men are very creatively RUDE with how they ask/hint for it these days. Which is annoying in itself. I think these rappers got these dudes very confident that my lips are SUPPOSED to be wrapped around their dick. And they love using some sort of "line" to get their point across... "What dat mouth do?" "You sucking or not" "Your mouth ain't bleeding" "Those lips tho!" "I wanna see if you give good brain like you graduated from a good school" And don't let y'all be in the car together, they're placing your hand on their lap so you can feel their dick hard...smh... I can't...

The position is a complicated enough decision for me... Should he be standing, sitting or laying? Should I be in between his legs, on the side of his legs, hanging from the ceiling? Should I be naked or clothed? Shoes or no shoes? UGH, I'm annoyed already.

Being clothed is wack cuz then when you wanna stop, you still gotta take your clothes off after. Then what if he stops you while you're doing that and says he don't wanna fuck? Then you're gonna feel stupid as shit. At least naked you can just hop on the dick so fast, he won't know what hit him. But then naked you still have to be artistic with your body positions... arch your back, prop up your ass, suck your stomach in *UGGGHHH*... But sucking in your stomach got you holding your breath. But how are you supposed to hold your breathe while sucking dick? You got other shit to worry about in your mouth.

Now, where are my eyes supposed to be? Looking at him? These dumb ass pubes? Closed? But looking at him is fucking with me cuz I can't read his reaction with his eyes closed! Is he picturing a prettier, sexier, longer haired bitch? Or is he trying to be considerate of me feeling uneasy?
If he isn't shaved, I'm pissed... like "this nigga aint get the damn memo YET? He don't got bbm, twitter, iMessage, or television?" Wtf. But If he is shaved, I'm thinking "another bitch told him to, I know it"... Even though ain't NOTHING worse than having to stop and find that ONE straggly hair on your tongue that's annoying the fuck outta you while you're trying to get this dick to cum. GRRRRRR

So now my mouth is on it...its only been 29 seconds and my knees are hurting... I'm holding it with one hand for now and I wanna make it wetter but I HATE saliva. Especially the smell on my hands. Spitting on the dick is stupid to me. And I need to save all the saliva I can produce to talk for two hours on my radio show every Tuesday....... I'm just saying... So I'm jerking and sucking, consciously tryna keep my teeth covered because I scraped a few niggas before. Yikes. My mouth is very shallow so I'm only on about 3/8 of the dick... My hand is consuming the other 5/8 of it and my lips are meeting my hand on each jerk... BUT NOW he got his hand on my head tryna push more dick in my mouth.... Wait.... Do you see my skin color? Its Brown... You don't touch a black bitch's hair... Now he pissed me off... So I move his hand cuz I'm not walking outside looking crazy. I don't care if you paid for it or will pay for it to get done again... Anywho. So now I go down to the balls. Depending on the dude they're either BIG and tight or saggy and small. I like the saggy ones cuz they're easier to maneuver in your mouth. But they kinda run from you when you're tryna get them in it at first. But whatever. One ball in my mouth at a time and lightly suck on it, all while still jerking the dick... He actually just got even harder and Just said "hmmm damn baby, oh shit". Ok so he likes this. Aight cool, so he gonna cum soon... We might only be at 3.5 minutes right now but in "dick sucking" minutes it feels like 15. So I go back up to the dick, I'm sucking the shaft sideways on the back where that brollic "tube" like thingy is inside his dick. He moaned again... Oh he likes that too. *mental note"... So now he is into it... Dick is back in my mouth, and he is semi grinding... Looks a lil gay but I'll let him slide right now cuz its just us. But now he's talking ..."You love this dick?" *shakes head yes and moans mmm hmm* "You miss this dick?" *shakes head again and moans mmm hmm*... But now that vibration from the *mmm hmm* got him hype and he likes that so now he asking me more dumb ass questions....*eye roll*........Now he advanced on to wanting me to talk dirty to him... "Tell daddy you love this dick"... "You want me to cum? Tell daddy you want me cum" "you want that cum in your mouth? You gonna swallow it for daddy? Tell me you gonna swallow it for daddy"... *Wait*... *How the FUCK am I supposed to say all that shit with a dick in my mouth?* That shit doesn't sound sexy with a dick in your mouth... It sounds like "dhghdvfklvrvhdxtywfhus" *eye roll*
So I take the dick out and say "I love this dick daddy."

So now I'm sucking HARD, jerking fast with a rhythm, alternating between the balls, shaft and head. I'm cuffing the balls when I'm on the head...jerking the head when I'm on the balls...I'm using two hands here and there but that smell of saliva is pissing me off. Its like washing my hands in spit, YUCK... But NOW he just asked me if I love sucking his dick... HELL NO... But I say YES.

My knees are really hurting now and he wants me to play with my pussy... Wait... *You're really asking for a lot man*... I aint tryna be here all damn day. Cuz now you're not gonna wanna cum til you know I'm cumming. And I don't wanna make myself cum. That's for YOU to do because for all of that I coulda fucking masturbated and called it a day without having to suck any dick...

So I pretend like I'm doing it for a second, then I go back to using two hands on him trying speed this mission up.. I'm moaning, sucking HARDER, pissed cuz I know the imprint of my teeth about to be in my gums but I really want him to cum and the pressure is about to make him bust. So at this point I gotta make him think I want this dick juice... So I say "I want that cum, give it to me"...he gets hyped... Cuz he think ima swallow... He asks am I gonna swallow. I say yea... I'm lying though. And I REALLY don't want it in my mouth cuz its hard getting the taste out my tongue... Shit smells like "chlorox clean up" and tastes like the Atlantic Ocean... But I just wanna be done already, cuz we mighta hit 6 mins by now which is 23 mins in "dick sucking" time.

He finally says "oh shit baby, you about to make me cum" so I FINALLY get enthusiastic cuz I wanted to stop 5.582 mins ago and its only been 6. So he says "I wanna cum on your face"... *shit better for me cuz I rather wipe it off my face than feel that tingling sensation in my tongue all day* ... So I'm sucking, moaning, jerking, slurping, and angling my face to catch this cum and he starts squirming and warning me and then SCREAMS like a bitch! I know its time to put it on my cheek but the shit shot in my fucking HAIR... So I jump up, not giving a fuck about his nut and run to the bathroom cuz this cum is gonna make my hair hard and if I wipe it off with water its gonna make my hair curl up.... FUCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!